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fuckingrecipes:

HOLY BIFROST BRIDGE, BATMAN!
THIS MOTHERFUCKER (classroomcompatriot) JUST KICKED MOUNT EVEREST IN THE FACE AND NEEDS SOME WARMING UP!

BETTER GET THEIR ASS OVER TO THE KITCHEN TO MAKE SOME HOT CHOCOLATE FROM SCRATCH, BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS ‘FUCK YOU, COLD WEATHER’ LIKE WATCHING THE STARS AND DRINKING HOT COCOA.


YOU NEED SOME POWDERED SUGAR, VANILLA, DARK CHOCOLATE AND SOME GORGEOUS-ASS WHOLE MILK, OR HALF-AND-HALF CREAM.

WHIP OUT A BAG OF CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND SMASH THE SHIT OUT OF THEM, SO THEY LOOK LIKE THE BROKEN PIECES OF DEAN WINCHESTER’S HEART. YOU NEED 1 CUP OF THAT BULLSHIT.


TRASH-TALK A COW UNTIL SHE STARTS PLAYING ROCK METAL AND HANDS YOU 4 CUPS OF HER DELICIOUS MILK. PARTY ROCK THE FUCK OUT OF THERE AND SHOVE THAT BITCHIN’ LIQUID INTO A POT ON ‘LOW’ HEAT.

KEEP A WHISK IN THERE AND STIR IT AROUND ONCE A MINUTE, BECAUSE HARDCORE FUCKERS KNOW SITTING MILK ATTRACTS BROWNIES, AND THOSE BITCHES NEED TO KEEP THE FUCK AWAY.  

NOW TOSS IN 1 TEASPOON OF VANILLA, 3 TEASPOONS OF POWDERED SUGAR AND THE SMASHED CHOCOLATE THEN WHISK THAT TEENAGE REBELLION OUT OF THE FUCKER!
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AFTER EVERYTHING CHUNKY IS EXTERMINATED, TURN THE HEAT UP TO ‘MEDIUM’ AND STIR SLOWLY FOR 4 MINUTES BEFORE GETTING IT THE FUCK OFF THE HEAT, POURING IT INTO A MUG AND DRINKING THIS BEAUTIFUL SHIT.


YOU CAN SIT BACK WITH A CUP OF THIS MAGNIFICENT BASTARD, LOOK YOUR BROTHER IN THE EYE AND SNARL ‘I WIN’

To make glutenfree, use a gluten free brand of powdered sugar.

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